I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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