I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
