im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize