last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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