In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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