i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
