her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
