My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
