community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
