she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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