if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
