And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize