YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When did angry sex become our thing?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
