Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
