so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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