he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize