spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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