I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
