I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
