he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
