It's Friday. Sex?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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