yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
