Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
