I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
