meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize