guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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