I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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