on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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