My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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