I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
