I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
