Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
