If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
