I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
