his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
