My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
