That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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