All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this just has baby written all over it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
