okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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