why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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