The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize