She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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