if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
