I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
