where am i from again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
