actually, I'm a sock model
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
