i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
