Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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