i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Green mimosas i think yes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
