this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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