planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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