i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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