On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize