Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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