Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
