I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
