planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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