Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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