Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
