Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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