Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
