Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
