hell yes lets make some ravioli
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this will be a night to untag.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
