Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
