Who wears a wallet chain?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
