TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
