we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
