did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
