is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
