who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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