He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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