Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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